omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
