those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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