The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
