mondays should just be called national damage control day
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
