What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
