try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
