I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
vagina is talking i cant
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
