based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
