New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
