If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
