There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
