Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
