She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
