He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
