Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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