Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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