well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
