She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
