2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
