Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
