it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
