Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
