You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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