best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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