I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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