You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Randomize
