peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
smell my finger.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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