Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
