You made me cry and you don't even care
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
The power of my boobs compel you
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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