the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
