i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
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