he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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