we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
