Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize