this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
