I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize