You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
