she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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