new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
