First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
