So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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