i would punch a child for taco bell
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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