We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
