well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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