@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
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