sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Someone came in the potted fern
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
