So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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