Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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