You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Two words: blizzard sex
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
