Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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