Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
