SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize