If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
