Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
