He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
