Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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