you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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