i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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