Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
