Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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