Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
