Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
