Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize