Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
