im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
