I can't watch pbs sober anymore
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
