It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
