i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
