I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
