Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
