Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
Randomize
