I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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